03. And As Soon As I Ejaculated I Knew That I Had Made A Mistake

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My Favourite Asian In The Whole World
Thursday, May 15, 2014 - 02:00
It’s probably about time I come clean with you guys. It’s the least I can do.

When The Black EP was concluded in January, I openly announced there would be a substantial gap between this second part of the story and the grand finale, which is true. What's more. this gap, as it turns out, could be so long as to possibly last until the end of 2015 or even 2016, because of endless reasons. The videos exhaust me and are yet to make me famous. I want the ending to be as perfect as possible, and in order to do so, I must grant it some decent thought-stewing time in order to develop concepts and directions. And yet above all else (and here is the real punchline), it’s because I have other sizeable plans for the outlet. I’ve had them for a while.

If you’ve paid attention (you haven't), you would have heard me mention it before in a couple of places here and there, but nobody knows the extent of what goes on in my head, least of all me. For...
Oh My God, Amen
Wednesday, January 29, 2014 - 05:20
And who could have predicted that after the long line of monsters I'd been excreting, my creative sperm/egg concoction had the ability to reproduce into something so sweet and optimistic? It’s as if the dark curse has been lifted off my family, and perhaps now we can ignore the sideways laughter in the supermarket and remove the dull blinds from our windows. I’ve been eating a lot of vegetables lately. The clocks are no longer keeping me up at night. The gentle rains have quenched the thirsty drought, and not a moment too soon. I caught myself laughing yesterday evening and I nearly fainted in shock.

The pages of the Black EP have been closed, waved off by our latest edition Oh My God, Amen, and the rumours are all delightfully true. Fresh air is no longer a luxury, as to which I am sure the video will be proof enough for your ears. However, if you loathe...
The Dakota Fanning Grape Movie
Thursday, November 14, 2013 - 04:25
One thing nobody likes to talk about in those expecting-mother classes, is that childbirth can kill you. The parasite you grew with your own energy is selfish, and when it has out-grown your nurturing, it will rush to find the nearest exit point with absolutely no concern over your schedule. And, of course, this is particularly true when you are delivering a monster.

I am torn and I am weak, but I survived, cradling surely the ugliest most deformed child I could conceive. We affectionately called him The Dakota Fanning Grape Movie, and he is the third member of our Black EP household. And if such an atrocity breeds your own sick curiosity, then we have generously provided all the study material you could possibly stomach on our family page, found simply by scrolling to the new entry and clicking “About”. However (and I repeat myself to death), please do not do so until you watch...