03. And As Soon As I Ejaculated I Knew That I Had Made A Mistake

Latest News

Oh My God, Amen
Wednesday, January 29, 2014 - 05:20
And who could have predicted that after the long line of monsters I'd been excreting, my creative sperm/egg concoction had the ability to reproduce into something so sweet and optimistic? It’s as if the dark curse has been lifted off my family, and perhaps now we can ignore the sideways laughter in the supermarket and remove the dull blinds from our windows. I’ve been eating a lot of vegetables lately. The clocks are no longer keeping me up at night. The gentle rains have quenched the thirsty drought, and not a moment too soon. I caught myself laughing yesterday evening and I nearly fainted in shock.

The pages of the Black EP have been closed, waved off by our latest edition Oh My God, Amen, and the rumours are all delightfully true. Fresh air is no longer a luxury, as to which I am sure the video will be proof enough for your ears. However, if you loathe...
The Dakota Fanning Grape Movie
Thursday, November 14, 2013 - 04:25
One thing nobody likes to talk about in those expecting-mother classes, is that childbirth can kill you. The parasite you grew with your own energy is selfish, and when it has out-grown your nurturing, it will rush to find the nearest exit point with absolutely no concern over your schedule. And, of course, this is particularly true when you are delivering a monster.

I am torn and I am weak, but I survived, cradling surely the ugliest most deformed child I could conceive. We affectionately called him The Dakota Fanning Grape Movie, and he is the third member of our Black EP household. And if such an atrocity breeds your own sick curiosity, then we have generously provided all the study material you could possibly stomach on our family page, found simply by scrolling to the new entry and clicking “About”. However (and I repeat myself to death), please do not do so until you watch...
Stupid Superhero Should Have Let Me Die
Wednesday, July 10, 2013 - 04:06
It mimics the moment you've smashed your head against a wall so many times that the bricks finally crumble before you, only to reveal another wall. Do you continue smashing, in full knowledge that yet another wall could possible reside beyond? Do you turn around and make a home in your prison for all eternity? Or do you get some paint?

A post-term pregnancy is nothing to boast about, but a surviving baby is, which is why I welcome into the world and introduce you to the 2nd member of The Black EP family. She’s called Stupid Superhero Should Have Let Me Die, and while she isn’t as healthy as her older brother, she is surely much more dangerous; spreading disease rather than fighting with fists, building fatigue rather than causing heart attacks. A weapon, all the same.

Details on the conception and birth of this track, as always, can be found on the EP’s page over...